Life on Your Own Terms

In a previous article, I wrote of how I personally witnessed in the life of my Cocker Spaniel, a determination to create an environment conducive to his desires as a canine. He lived life on his own terms and for the better.

So what does it mean to "live life on your own terms"? This is what I take from it, although their exist many perspectives on this catch-phrase.

Living life on your own terms involves determining what it is that you want from life, examining your ability to achieve those goals given your environment and the willingness to modify or change direction when necessary, even in the face of adversity in order to create the life that you want.

Much of this creation comes from within, and I'll get into this in later posts. Have you ever noticed that there are some people who seem to fundamentally handle the conditions of their life regardless of the situation, better than others? I believe they do so because they have a certain amount of independence, that while bending, are rarely broken. They adapt to situations more readily than the majority of us and when faced with obstacles, find a way around them or use them as an opportunity for change.

This willingness to face life, with its many challenges and not lose faith in the fundamental belief in their right to be content and to live life in a fulfilling manner, sets them apart. They are not manipulated by their environment or conditions thereof, but instead chose their own path, even in the face of adversity.

Owing to this, they often suffer direct or indirect ridicule; however, they remain undeterred. It seems as though they have a natural instinct for survival on their own terms. They therefore choose a direction that while possibly laden with obstacles, offers the best opportunity for happiness on their own terms.

Time and time again, the end result of their choices is one they can live with
and these choices won't always make them popular or be the best in the eyes of the public. They don't ignore public opinion, but choose their own paths to happiness in light of it.

Those who live life on their own terms often go unnoticed, but they are with us in all facets of our society from the poor and downtrodden to the very rich. Regardless of their station in life, they seem to take more from their environment and they intentionally structure it for their well-being.

When they fall they get up, use adversity as an opportunity and are characteristically optimistic, even when they get down. Most, although not all, have a belief in something greater than themselves and are well served by gratitude for what they have, even unspoken.

These are the purveyors of lives sustained and nurtured by their inherent instincts and the willingness to often buck the trend. They will often take heed of prevailing attitudes, but in the end, make choices that fit their desires. The quality of life is an essential to their happiness; in doing so, they create their lives from within.

Extending Ourselves to Others

Giving of one's self is a cherished moment. Not only does it benefit us in both mental and physical terms but it lowers our stress level, increases the release of endorphins(Pleasure producing hormones in our system) and gives us a much more meaningful state of well being and therefore happiness.

Giving need not involve setting aside blocks of time, such as volunteering, although that's important. Sometimes you want to volunteer or get involved in activities and you really want to help someone, but stress, health and financial problems keep clogging your mind with unpleasant images. This stress causes you to move away from extending yourself to others and you become more self-centered, mainly from the stress of just getting by.

Extending yourself can involve a personal commitment, regardless of circumstances to do the little things that add up and improve your mental imagery about your circumstances.

Put food out for the stray cat on the block, pet your canine friends often and realize their contribution to your mental health, yes, within reason go beyond your first instinct and give to the needy person, even if you think they're panhandlers. No one would ever blame you for generosity and your innards will weigh in on this matter in a positive way that will be uplifting, if only for a moment. Do something that is gratifying to someone else, often, however small.

Let the person in line at the store with all the packages go before you, Move aside for Seniors, offer to assist a Senior, open up a spot during a bottleneck in traffic so someone else can enter or exit, pick up trash that blows around yours and your neighbor's home. Maneuver in traffic so someone else can have the advantage.

Think less of your problems and more about your blessings. Extending yourself to others means that you have the time and compassion within. As you do that, more will come to you, often disguised; nevertheless it will happen.

Emerge your being in the self that you want to be. Moderate your stress with small moves that give large returns. Allow yourself the leisure of learning to live well
under difficult circumstances. Manage your life by extending a part of it beyond your being and into others. The gift of giving has tremendous emotional rewards. Start reaping them.